Sunday 30 July 2017

When It Begins To Fester - 01

“Victory is not won in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more.” Louis L’Amour

I took a deep breath outside the flat, it’s an ordinary grey 20 floored building, completely ordinary. I had been thinking about that moment for months, I thought maybe he grew tired of me. Hated me, forgot about me. I had a plan of what I would say to him, but the moment I saw his grey eyes. I had to say something, I’ve never seen him so hurt, dejected… broken. I regretted saying that the moment they left my lips and when I entered his home I could feel his presence there, how much I missed the comforting aura he had, had because it seems to be replaced with gloom and uncertainty. He is not the confident man I knew before, the one that would make me laugh at his silly jokes and wiggling his eyebrows. But there are something’s that can’t be removed I kept my eyes open or maybe I’m seeing that is just wishful thinking. He is still the determined and dedicated oaf I knew,

‘Somethings never change.’ I smiled getting back into the police car and continue with the patrol route. I firmly believe that Eric can once again the confident and collected guy I knew, just maybe with the right push and goal he will be. Pursing my lips together at that thought something akin to a mischievous grin is plastered on my face.I quickly get round to finishing my patrol and get back to the station for signing off shift, nothing much happened a quiet day of scanning license plates and they were coming back clean.

“You seem happy Eli!” A female coworker called Amy calls out in the changing room, she has tied up blonde hair, put into a bun, blue eyes and a smallish flat face, not overly attractive but not that bad looking either.

“Well… I.” I stumbled to explain because I didn’t quite know.

“Did you give him a piece of your mind? You’ve been moping around for a while. I’m sure you don’t need to be hung up on one guy.” She giggles.

“Something like that.”

“You must have destroyed him.” I let out an awkward laugh at that and picked up my bag to leave, on the way out I bumped into some more officers, mostly all male.

“Eli! You comin’ out? It’s about time you got over that prick anyway.” Fred gave a warm smile but said all the wrong words.

“I have plans tonight… With Eric.” My voice leaking out some venom into it and my stomach tightens.

“He’s no good for you Eli, he’s just going to ‘mysteriously’ disappear again. He was probably sleeping around like any other soldier.” Thomas rises to defend Fred, I scowl my face deeper and frown at him deciding he is not worth my time to argue with and just leave.

“Eli!” Fred’s voice calls behind me as I storm past and I listen to him jog to catch up, he spins me around be touching my shoulder to look at him. “Eli, I don’t know what you want me to say. He hurt you, you’ve only just gotten over him and yet you’re already going back to him. We just don’t want to see you hurt again.” I study his face, he is quite handsome. Chocolate eyes and dark rich black hair cut short and swept to the side. The physique of a well-built man and a small vertical scar just between his nose and upper lip.

“Frankly Fred I don’t need you to worry about my love life, that is personal, secondly I did not ask you to worry about me.” I give a curt reply and I see him press his lips together and sigh once more.

“I just don’t think he’s the right guy for you.”

“And what, you are?”

We stand in silence for a few more moments, he doesn’t deny he thinks that but life doesn’t work out so well for everyone. He may be handsome but I am just not attracted to him, he just seems very controlling and clingy to me. I have compared him to Eric before and even now Eric has the feeling of laid back calmness, I turn heel and leave taking my own car to Eric’s apartment.

Thursday 27 July 2017

Those That Dream Of Demons - 07

I rub my face close the door and flick on the kettle, taking two cups out the cupboard I place them on the kitchen side. One is my mug a crematic grey the other is a sourpuss pink one. “Take a seat.” I sigh and she walks over there in a huff taking off her jacket and placing it on her legs with her hat atop that while she fiddles with it.

“Why haven’t you talked to me, Eric? I thought you were going to be at my promotion ceremony, my birthday. Have I done anything wrong?” Her voice breaks and cracks a little, she’s almost crying now, she gives the same look my brother gives when I told him I didn’t know him. My brother has the wish that I would at least remember him because we were so close.

“I got injured... In combat.” I let the words slowly flow out my mouth, every time I say my situation it doesn’t make it easier. It makes it more real. She stands up her jacket and hat falling onto the floor. Her tears becoming more apparent now which is making me want to tear up.

“W-why… Why didn’t you tell me?” She begins using her sleeve to try and wipe them away, I ignore the drinks for now and hug her. “That doesn’t mean you get to ignore me!” She cries out, she probably has waited for ages for me to message her, all those feelings turning bitterness, regret, disparity and breaking her self-confidence. “You promised! You promised that… That you wouldn’t…” Her sobs heave into my chest. I hear the door unlocking and my brother Dominic peers in, I shrug in response and he slowly closes the door behind him leaving me alone with a crying woman I don’t know.

Please don’t arrest me, please don’t arrest me… I would have preferred an actual legal problem over a personal vendetta.

I hear the electric kettle click off when it’s finished boiling, but now is not the time for that. “How long have you been home since getting injured?” Her voice is almost steady now, slightly trembling, I pat her head noticing she’s a full head height shorter than me, maybe a bit more.

I guide her down sitting and I sit next to her, I hold her hands and look into her eyes. I’m going to tell her as clearly and as cleanly possible. “For two months I was in a coma.” Her eyes went wide and she bit her lip to stop herself from probably hitting me, probably trying to get the rest of the story out of me. “When I woke up I was told I have a form of PTSD, that’s suppressing all my memories. But now they’re thinking its brain damage, I can’t remember anything beyond waking up eight months ago, no dreams, no deja vu. Not anything, I’m sorry.” I couldn’t look at her at the last part, I don’t know what kind of relationship the previous Eric had with her, but that’s long gone now.

“You don’t remember me?” I shook my head at her, her voice is breaking by the end of those four words. “Anything?” She sounded desperate and I pull her into another hug.

“Look, I am not the Eric you knew before. I look like him, but I’m not. I understand if you never want to see me again, to forget about me like I forgot you and that’s okay.” I whisper into her ear and she breaks away from me.

“That’s not happening!” He yells at my face holding my cheeks. Her eyes are red and puffy, tears flowing down her face. I don’t know what I did but she slaps me. “Get that defeatist look off your face!” I probably smirked at her unknowingly.

“You know, don’t you usually have to be at work by a certain time?” I try and think of a sly way to get her out my apartment, she looks at her watch and smirks back.

“I’m doing my morning rounds, just happened to be checking up on a friend.” She starts putting her jacket back on and places her hat under her arm. “I’ll be back.” She opens the door and almost slams it behind her.

I think to myself, for awhile trying to piece together bits and pieces of the storm that just came through my apartment. Shit, I don’t even know her name.

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Sorry about the long away time, but we should be back to regular updates now.